A paper coin with raspberry sweets

I turn on the bedside lamp, grab my pills and go to the bathroom. After a shower I am exhausted, but it is worth the effort, I feel clean, and a little softer in the muscles. I'll just take deodorant in my armpits and cream on my face before I go back to bed again. I'm sitting on the lid. Come on. Pull yourself together. I can 't. The despair begins in the big toe. Propagates upwards in the body. Gets stuck in the stomach. In the throat.

Forget the cream, I hear a comforting voice whisper, lie down now, you managed to shower. One step at a time.

 The diagnosis, systemic sclerosis, brings with it fatigue, I red that in a brochure at the hospital. One is encouraged to be aware of what is energy-losing and what is energy-giving. Note it all down and then it becomes a kind of accounting with plus and minus, just like mom's household book from Larvik Savings Bank. Maybe such a setup is useful, but I don`t have the energy. There is probably not much to post on the plus side anyway.

 I sleep and doze and sleep. I'm thinking of Doctor Pi who's there if I need him. The sun rises a little earlier for each day. I dream I bring in sun-dried sheets from the clothesline. I blow dry my short hair in two rounds. I rest after breakfast.

The wood anemone sprouts.

 Dear systemic sclerosis, you can eat off my body without making me so tired

I do not want to snooze like Edda / fading book pages on the linoleum floor

 not that?

 can I at least get a paper coin with raspberry sweets

soaked in powdered sugar

then I can suck in summer

on a winter day